Memorial Day

We felt our family incomplete
And hoped to add some more.
"Three!" the darling dad announced.
But I thought maybe four.
I prayed for strength, I prayed for help,
I said we wouldn't mind.
This was His chance to send them both;
"Please don't leave one behind."

I suspected very early
But I still wasn't prepared.
When the doctor said "you're having twins!"
I laughed, but felt so scared.
Daddy was in shock that day
"What happened to the plan?
You prayed for what? You crazy girl!
Now we have to drive a van!"

We prayed to feel God's comfort
To know it all would be ok.
"They'll be just fine", we knew it then
And remember still today.
The funny thing about answers
With our understanding flawed,
Is that "fine" did not mean what we thought.
"Fine" was something else to God.

The months wore on, our babies grew;
We found out they were boys!
We eagerly anticipated
The love, the work, the joys.
We bought several matching outfits,
We used family and friends
To help us make it through the worst,
To hold on to the end.

Then unexpectedly one night
We had to call our neighbor.
My water broke, we had to go;
I had started preterm labor.
All hell broke loose, it was so fast;
I woke up with the dawn.
My husband had to tell me that
Our little one was gone.

They brought his quiet body
To my room for me to hold.
I felt his valiant spirit then,
So noble, strong, and bold.
He touched our lives so deeply.
Such a tiny little guy!
We spent the day together
Before we said goodbye.

We mourned his death, the crushing blow,
One foot before the other.
Then turned to battle once again;
We had to save his brother.
While grieving for the loss of Dex,
We fought to keep our Crew.
We knew his brother strove with him;
We felt his presence too.

"Your darling may not make it,"
They all told us many times.
We took the NICU rollercoaster
With its inherent dips and climbs.
Surgeries and setbacks
Became the "normal" for our lives.
We never had a guarantee
That this brother would survive.

Survive, he did, and beat the odds!
He came home three months later.
Our joy is full, our hearts at peace,
Just one thing would make it greater.
In sleep reposed, we see his face,
The one he shares with Crew.
Our angel Dex, so loved, so dear,
We wish we had him too.

Win-Win Shopping

Mommy: Alright. Two of you have to get out of the cart and walk. I'm not in the mood to push my whole family around the store.

Kinley: Why not? It's fun for us and exercise for you!!


She has nerve...

Tanner and Madison

This is Tanner's best girl, Madison.

I truly loved doing Joy School with Kinley and our neighbors in P-town and was loathe to send Tanner away this next, final year before Kindergarten. I put his name on a list for formal preschool at one point, but my heart wasn't in it and I was really hoping for another option to appear (meaning, a co-op kind of option).

In the fall, these two crazies will be the only two adorable students in our preschool co-op because we can't find any other suckers to join us. What can I say? I'm a homeschooling mom-at-heart living in a public school kinda world. Nevertheless, we are undeterred and very excited. They are both about half way through the "yellow book" and the CFO of our home has just given me permission to buy the Math-U-See Primer curriculum, as recommended by my homeschooling sisters. My gal DeAnna (former preschool teacher extraordinaire) is hooking us up with tons of her best stuff and we are overloaded with resources. Very exciting!

(P.S. It's not too late to join the madness! Aren't these the sweetest faces you ever did see? Don't you want to be a sucker too??)

Outside!

Being outside has taken some adjustment for nature-phobe Crew, but this morning he decided that sunshine, wind, and grass are not-so-bad.

He joined me outside while I reweeded and planted some flowers for our Dex memory garden. I found some gorgeous, deer-resistent batik irises that seem to be blooming a little more purplish than bluish, but they are still beautiful and Dex knows they are for him.

Crew lasted longer than I expected, but we had help. My neighbor is also my VT companion and a former NICU nurse. She was out on a walk this morning and stopped by to play with Crew while I finished up the final planting. I turned around to find him on his knees; I burst out laughing, delighted with the impromptu PT session. You can take the nurse out of the NICU...

Here is Crew sitting on our "outdoor blanket", also known as the "Katie-blanket", so named for the ex-girlfriend that gave it to Justin many years ago. When we got married, I told him we could keep it if it stayed in the trunk of our car as a picnic blanket. Am I mean?
He rolled onto the grass and didn't melt down. I love this face. I wonder what he's thinking...
Then he got busy exploring in the grass. It needs a good mowing again. It tickles my ankles. This property owning thing is serious business. The accidental over-fertilizing has created a jungle out there.

Roar.

Kinley's Kurls

Every once in a while she humors me.

Pedi-Challenged

There are things that just come more easily to some women than others...

Boys Will Be Boys

Our First Decade

Dear Justin, congratulations on surviving your first decade at my mercy. Bu-wa-ha-ha-ha!

I LOVE YOU, babe!

Honeymoon in Yellowstone. Circa 2000. Those are some stylin' mom jeans.

Kinley's homecoming. February 2003. Did I rob the cradle or what?

Say it Ain't So.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Happy Monday.

Kinley's Great Brain

Kinley did a Great Brain report this year for school. I expected her to choose an exotic animal, but she surprised me with Emergency Vehicles. She reported on police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances. She talked about Crew's ride in an ambulance and showed off his massive belly scar, which got some ooohs and aaaaahs. He was the impromptu report prop. She did a really great job!

Sick Sick Sick

Well, surprise, surprise, little Crew is sick AGAIN. This is the third illness in 8 weeks and it's doing nothing for our weight-gain goals or our PT goals, I can assure you.

We missed the NICU graduate reunion yesterday and I'm so bummed about it! I have been looking forward to this weekend since we missed the reunion last year when we went out of town! We stayed home and I held him while he coughed in my face and cried on my lap all afternoon.

He's on the mend. He's improving, sleeping "humidified" in his own private tropic paradise.

It's What's For Dinner

Kinley: What's for dinner?

Mom: Tacos.

Kinley: Are you sure it's tacos?

Mom: Yes, I'm sure.

Kinley: Are you absolutely sure it's going to be tacos tonight? Because last night you said it was tacos and you burned everything so we had to have pasta instead.


(One crispy carcinogen dinner and this is the grief I get.)

Spring Has Sprung

We are just winding down the final weeks of school and enjoying the sunshine. I've been spring cleaning, digging out closets, cupboards, and cobwebs. Justin groused enough about the encroaching clutter and dust that I finally did something about it. Grumpily.

I feel like a lot of my mental energy is spent fattening up the little beast and trying to convince him that he wants to do PT with me. He has been resisting PT with Mommy for a while now and it's been frustrating. For both of us. On the other hand, Crew has made such remarkable progress in the last 6 months. So, it was discouraging to hear dissatisfaction from our pediatrician. It has made me a little blue.

Other Tidbits:
I buzzed Tanner's hair again; he makes a very kissable Charlie Brown.

The kids are spending a lot of time running around in the yard with their neighbor friends. It feels very Mayberry to see "the pack" riding their scooters, chalking up driveways, and playing in the rock pit together.

I sang in a wedding last Friday night. I sang "something that we do" by Clint Black. I sang it with friends and it was my first time singing country music outside of my shower. It was great to see so many much beloved, familiar faces, and to introduce Crew to some of his longtime secret bloggy admirers.

I sang "write thy name upon my heart" with some different friends/neighbors at a Relief Society VT Conference Brunch on Saturday morning. The conference message was great, the food delicious, and the company perfect.

Kinley dressed up as Taylor Swift for a rock star birthday party last weekend and has been begging to wear mascara every day since. I am officially jealous of her eyelashes; they skipped a generation. Then again, Kinley has nothing on Tanner and Crew in this department. Why do boys always inherit the best eyelashes? Hm?

Wild deer keep eating the flowers that are planted in our neighborhood. I don't know what to do about Dex's memory garden this year. I can't just not have one. I need to find something that I really like that is also deer resistant. Preferably something that is blue and white.

I'm reading "The Lightning Thief", getting ready for the movie release. So far, so good.

I was supposed to have lost 20 pounds by May 15th. It didn't happen.

We've introduced the children to the original three Star Wars movies and they are obsessed with the storyline and characters, which is highly amusing.

I enjoyed a Totino's Pizza luncheon with some dear ol' friends last week. They know I have a special weakness for T.P. and great women.

We started reading the American Girl books, starting with Samantha. They are pretty fantastic so far. My sister also recommends Josefina, which we will probably read next.

Tanner can now play Uno with the best of us. Our other favorite games are Candyland (I know, shocking, isn't it?), Chutes and Ladders, Trouble, and Feed the Kitty.

Kinley can't believe how long her hair has grown this year.

Justin is working on a huge project for work that is stressing him out.

I've been grilling a lot lately. I am going to run out of propane in the middle of cooking dinner one of these nights. I just know it.

We like making princess crafts.

We had Giraffe Week.

Crew is sleeping through the night in his own bed again, finished with this round of teething.

I totally text now. I'm a texter.

We went to a school picnic last week. It was lame.

This is my least favorite season of American Idol, but I really enjoyed Hallelujah last night. Go, Dewyze. Fare thee well, Project Runway and Survivor. Until next season, kiss, kiss.

Tomorrow is our 10-year anniversary.

We have an obnoxious knocking in our vent that no one seems to be able to fix.

I weeded the flower beds and felt so domestic doing it.

That's about it.

The Buh-Deli

Tanner: Ha ha ha! I just did a buh-deli!

Justin: A what?

Tanner: A buh-deli!

Justin: What's a "buh-deli"?

Tanner: Not a buh-deli. It's a butt-deli. A butt-deli fart!

Justin: Uh, do you mean a "silent but deadly?"

Tanner: Yeah! That's what I said! "Silent butt-deli fart!"

Justin: Megan!!!!!

He WILL Grow...

One Double Stuff Oreo cookie at a time...

Bad Words

After school I always get the run-down of what happened during the day, including the best and worst highlights.

Mommy: What was the worst thing that happened at school today?

Kinley: The boys at recess yelled mean things at me.

Mommy: Mean things? What kind of mean things?

Kinley: Really mean things, bad things.

Mommy: Bad things, like bad words?

Kinley: Yes, very bad words.

Mommy: Wow, that's not very nice. What bad words did they say? It's ok, you can tell me what they were.

Kinley: They kept yelling "boys are stronger than girls, boys are stronger than girls!" whenever we ran by them. That's not very nice.

Fattening The Babe

Well, I'm a woman on a mission and a mother obsessed.

I feel like I have just taken on a full time job trying to fatten this kid up and I'm not sure that my efforts are going to show on the scale for a while. It seems that the more calories I add to his plate, the less volume he ingests. I have only been able to shove in a few hundred more daily calories into him. Hopefully it will make a difference.

And keeping him hydrated right now is a joke. Which does no favors for his hunger.

I was feeling really guilty for not catching this a few months ago. In the last few days, I've been able to step back and examine the whole picture and his total feeding history and I'm feeling less guilty and more proud of him than ever. We've come an incredibly long way with his eating in the last year and a half and we've both worked really hard at it. These few extra calories a day are worth the effort of today, but not worth the guilt of yesterday.

C-C-C-Communication

Crew has really embraced this whole communication thing. We are all reveling in the breakthrough.

In sign:

Crew says "up".

Crew says "more" sometimes.

Crew kind of says "all done", I think.

Crew can find his head. Kinley and I even think he is trying to say "head" with words. We hear something that sound suspiciously like "heh" when he is showing us his noggin.

Just this morning he raised his arm and pointed with his hand in the direction he wanted me to take him. Very calmly, very purposefully, he pointed to our bedroom. He wanted to see if Daddy was still here. This is a first. I usually have to follow his eyes.

Crew is assertively reaching and pointing at things that he wants that are out of reach instead of squirming, whimpering, or crying and making us guess. He has been grabbing at things within his reach for months, but if it was too far away, he would either cry and hope we figured out what he wanted and fetch it for him or, more often, decide it wasn't worth fighting for and turn his attention to something else.

He understands "diaper" verbally and in sign and takes instructions on who to pass his diaper to.

I feel like we have suddenly cracked some mysterious code that allows us access to the inner workings of Crew's mind. Clearly he has just been waiting for us to give him the cypher. He is bright as a penny, sharp as a tack.

Go Ahead

I know I have foodie friends out there who are just dying to offer advice and fat-baby recipes. Go ahead.

Let it be known: avocados, sweet potatoes, butter, and cream are already on our list.

Weight Schmeight

I took Crew in for his 18-month check-up this morning. He has only put on 1.5 pounds in the last 6 months and tips the scales at a measly 16 pounds. He's on his own tiny little curve waaaaaaay below the charts. But... at least it's curving, right?

We're revamping his diet. Butter and cream for this kid. And we'll be trying Pediasure because it's higher calorie than the beefed-up formula milkshakes that he's been on. Hopefully he likes the taste. He's been doing Carnation instant breakfast sometimes. He kind of likes that. When he's in the mood.

More calories will help him grow plump but will also build muscles. Mus-kules will help him in the gross motor category.

Our pediatrician wasn't super impressed with the gross motor progress that he has made. He seemed more concerned about the gross motor skills yet to be mastered. He suggested we look into private physical therapy to add to our existing regimen. I've looked into it. Mmmmm... I don't know.

Bah. Can't please everyone all the time.

Did I mention that he has started communicating this week?

We Interrupt This Blog...

...for a very important announcement.

"Houston! We. have. communication!"

Last week Kinley and I attended a communication seminar so that we can better help Crew communicate his likes and dislikes with something other than screaming or, my favorite, throwing his head back and screaming.

On a side note, getting permission for Kinley to attend the seminar was much more dramatic than I would have expected, but PT Julie came through for us, as she always does. It seems we're one of those high-maintenance families that dares to think outside of the box. What? Full family involvement? What's that all about? Er?

I digress. As usual. And I'm going to do it again:

Once upon a time, when I was a missionary in Latvia, one of my long-term assignments was to serve as a Latvian Sign Language translator. Through my service in that capacity, signing became an integral piece of my soul and I always intended to teach my own children sign language.

Latvian Sign Language bears little to no resemblance to ASL, so I signed up for a community ASL class shortly after Justin and I were married. The teacher was a pervert who called me at home late at night a few times to hit on me with such questions as "have you been thinking about me?" and "what do you like about me?" even though he knew that I was married. He was deaf and the conversation would have been awkward with a hearing person, but it was really icky being translated through the TDD relay system. I'm sure the girl who was relaying on our behalf had the willies. I got my money back on the class and never pursued it again.

I planned to learn something for Kinley, but she started speaking freakishly early, at 10 months. She was in full sentences by 14 months, unnerving people at the grocery store with her tiny body and gigantic vocabulary. Tanner didn't speak as early, but I kept expecting him to start at any moment, so we didn't do sign for him either.

But now... I have my signing baby!

We are working on a few signs, including "up", "more", "want", "eat", "drink", and "all done". We bought the first two Signing Time DVD's and watched the first one last night. Kinley is by far the most excited about signing. She has been practicing all day.

We are also working with Crew to help him make choices. Choices require him to point, reach, or otherwise make a physical gesture to indicate his desires, which will eventually help him realize that he can just start asking for things once in a while. I'm an awfully gifted guesser, but it would be a lot easier on all of us if he would just tell us in some way what's on his mind without the extra drama. When he wants/hates something, he simply starts melting down and we start scrambling to interpret. Why would he do anything else when this irritating method has worked so marvelously for him thus far?

As for the main point of this post:

For the last several days, Crew has responded enthusiastically and without tears to the question "do you want UP?" I don't even have to reach for him to give him a clue. He is responding to the verbal question alone and it's absolutely fantastic!! He is even asking sometimes without being prompted. He simply smiles and throws his arms up to ask me to pick him up. See how cute? No panic in his eyes, no tears.

He has mastered his very first sign. I feel about this the way I felt about him learning to sit. Once he finally started sitting, I felt confident that crawling and walking would come eventually. I believe that now that he has realized that he can tell me what he wants on this issue, it's only a matter of time before he starts making a whole litany of requests!

In other development, Crew now rolls around instead of just rolling over. He now tumbles around the room, getting stuck in all kinds of places. It's awesome! No longer does he just cry or quietly give up if something he wants is too far away from him. He has figured out that he can get it.

His skills are exploding and we could not be more proud of our little guy. Go, Crew!

Asparagus and The Plague

Sunday was Mother's Day!! Justin stole my thunder by having his birthday on Sunday as well (the nerve). He further rained on my parade by contracting some icky fever/congestion/migraine virus and the worst case of double Pink Eye you've ever seen in your life. (Did I just hear a collective "eww"?)

The Pink Eye part of our weekend celebration has now been passed on to The Princess. Sigh...

I feel about Pink Eye the way I feel about head lice. (Stop scratching your head.)

Fortunately, he chose a great meal for his birthday dinner and we were able to make use of your generous and brilliant asparagus suggestions. We are officially asparagus lovers. Justin, Crew, and I loved every bite. Tanner wouldn't touch his and missed out on birthday sugar cookies. Kinley ate hers and thought it was "kind of delicious and kind of disgusting, but we should have it every Sunday". So there you go.

Here are some photos of the Critter tasting his first asparagus.... is he so cute or what?

Woo-hoo-haa-haaa!! He's mine, all mine!

Hair Variation

I tried something new with the flat iron. Justin says it's really old fashioned and weird. What do you think? Too much?

Seeing Green

At one point in my life I would have been happy if either of my children ate a vegetable without crying. To think that one of them would develop a predilection for salad was too much to dream.

Who would have guessed? This one is my salad addict.

Bumbo Nap

Sometimes you just have to accept naps wherever and whenever you can get 'em.

The Architect

The princess is already designing her castle.

Crib Critter

He's been in his very own bed for two nights. He didn't wake up once through the night. In fact, he is still sleeping. He was snoring like a wee little log when I snuck into his room this morning to find school clothes for Kinley.

Perhaps it was all the flan he ate at our friend's (uber-fantastic, ultra-delicious, mega-fun) Cinco de Mayo celebration last night. Hopefully he'll be in a great mood for his PT appt this morning.

Update -- he slept in until TEN!!

Co-Sleeping Is Not In My Wheelhouse

We tried it.

We hated it.

We let the Critter linger another few days in the interest of his full recovery (plus, co-sleeping has always been my secret wish). I'm now ready to get the energetic, heat-seeking wiggle-worm out of my bed.

Women's Conference 2010 Wrap-Up

Home again, home again, Jiggity Jig.

I had a fantastic adventure to BYU Women's Conference this year! Women's Conference is always such a rejuvenating experience. This was my third opportunity, having previously attended in 2007 and 2008.

Daddy and the kids survived my absence, though Crew was very very sick and fussy while I was gone. To my great surprise (and amusement), Justin broke his historically inflexible cardinal nighttime rule and kept Crew in bed with him while I was away. Now we're not quite sure how to get him out of it...

Anyway, Crew is much improved; the 104 degree fever has disappeared. He's back to his recent teething fussy/demanding self instead of his sick and teething fussy/demanding self.

My friend Missy and I shared a dorm room from Wednesday through Saturday. We shared a 5-shower-stall communal bathroom with the rest the ladies on our floor, but we rose early enough to take luxuriously hot showers without competition. We managed to hit the cafeteria for breakfast at the perfect time to eat a leisurely buffet and make it to the general morning session in the Marriott Center with plenty of time to find a great seat with perfect exit access for our race to the Wilkinson Center for our Thursday selection of presentations. The stars were aligned, to be sure. There were so many classes we could choose, but Missy and I had similar interests and ended up attending all of our classes together except for one (which turned into its own cool experience, detailed further down the post).

A few W.C. tips:
1. Sometimes it's just best to find a room that has some great classes and park yourself in a comfortable spot for the day. You pretty much can't go wrong with any class you choose and sometimes fighting your way through crowds across campus to stand in line for a popular class that ends up full before you get there is so disappointing. If you find a room that you can stay in for 2 or even 3 classes, it's a lot less stressful. I'm just sayin'.

2. Other times the battle is totally worth it! Sometimes if I am determined to get into a particular class, I will make sure that I attend the class before it in the same room to be sure that I get a seat for the class that I really really want. Like I said, you pretty much can't go wrong.

3. Pack snacks. If you are racing across campus, there will be no time to stand in line to buy/eat lunch and get into your next class, unless you are at the Marriott Center. Some people choose to skip a class to make time for lunch. Others stay in one room all day and have time between classes to leave their stuff on a chair and get lunch down the hall with their 30-minute break. Others just pack snacks to be safe.

On Friday morning, Missy and I split up for one class. I went to the Dejong Concert Hall and sat in the very back corner by myself. I was without my Missy, but feeling chatty, so I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me. Wouldn't you know it? The ear I had been chewing belonged to none other than Janice Kapp Perry. What? You don't believe me? Well, as it turns out, I was just shameless enough to beg a picture for the ol' blog.
The closing sessions of Women's Conference are always spectacular, featuring a visiting apostle. Elder Holland came my first year. President Monson came in 2008. Elder Oaks and his wife were this year's closing speakers and they did not disappoint. Here is a picture of us waiting for the closing session. Do we look so inspired? Refreshed? Maybe a little tired and overwhelmed?
900 women attended the first Women's Conference held at BYU in 1976. This year there were 15,000 attendees. Here are a few of them. Singing "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" with these gals was a treat.
On Friday night, Missy and I visited the cemetery and went out to dinner at our traditional haunt, Los Hermanos. We came home on Saturday; I was greeted with grand pomp and circumstance. Now I need to take some time to sit down and decide how to apply all of the things that I learned this week. Eesh.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes, ideas, and sound bytes from this weekend:

Women are like a lioness at the gate of the home.

When our priorities are out of order, we lose power.

Nothing important happens in the home unless the lioness cares about it and makes it a priority.

Meals are a time of bonding and teaching.

"Nice to do" things add variety and spice to life, but they won't save us. Interestingly, the Lord blesses us with the mercy of the "nice to do" things when our priorities are properly aligned. Ironically, we will have enough time for the fun things if we focus on the essential things.

The "swing shift" is that afternoon time. It is the most important shift of the day. Influence and power is lost when we overspend elsewhere and have nothing left for the afternoon. At that time, people are tired, hungry, and cranky, but they are also teachable.

When studying scriptures, ask: 1. Who am I? 2. What are my responsibilities? 3. How do I fulfill my responsibilities?

"Personal revelation is essential. Being able to feel the Lord's power and influence in our personal lives is the best education we can receive."

Study Rebekah's life and experience. She is one of the most pivotal people in the history of all mankind and the House of Israel. She fulfilled her mission. We can fulfill our own pivotal roles in our families and the House of Israel.

"Femininity is the divine ornament of humanity."

"True beauty is the closeness to and emulation of the Savior."

"Happiness is the most attractive accessory a woman can have."

"There will always be things we want to do and to be. Only the Lord can tell us what is needful."

"The true beauty of a woman is reflected in her soul, through her eyes and the way she lives her life."

Is a bad hair day important to the child you are comforting or the friend you serve?

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity" Margaret Nadauld

"I didn't come to earth to compromise". There is a great song with this message. This is the mini version of it.

"Mirror mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all." With that in mind, are we being good examples for our daughters to follow?

"We don't want to "fit in" with the world."

"Moms are the greatest influence to our daughters in matters of beauty and self-esteem."

"How can we be our daughters' lifesaver if we look like every other swimmer on the beach?"

"The greater your happiness, the greater your influence. Your daughter will not want to follow your example if what you do does not make you happy."

"The mists of darkness obscure the rod and the path, but not the great and spacious building. Never underestimate the power of the building to divert."

"The world will always tell you what you are not. The Holy Ghost will tell you who you are."



"Those who keep a journal are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance"

"Being holy takes sacrifice."

"The greatest gift is to fill a need unnoticed."

"Take time to feel."

"'It is well' if it brings us to our knees."

"The Lord can anticipate our needs and can help prepare us in advance through the scriptures."

"Somehow it all gets done. The Lord will give back the time we give to Him."

"Fears and feelings disable our ability to 'be still'."

"Our life setting and assignments are never by chance. Some day the purposes will be known."

"Decluttering puts us in step with a God of order."

"The wisdom of the world is not very wise and it certainly won't endure."

"If we don't take our wounded feelings to the Lord immediately when we have been offended or hurt, eventually they will take us away from Him."

"Losing hope quenches the spirit. Giving up is a choice."

"Just to be is a blessing; just to live is holy." Abraham J. Heschel

Acting in spite of fear is liberating.

We can live spirit-led lives.

Losing your temper separates you from the influence of and power of the spirit.

"Digital attachment can drown out the quiet and subtle impressions, making it difficult and even impossible to receive personal revelation."

The Lord will not force you to learn.

Do we run from His promptings because we don't want to hear what He has to say?

When we are offended or criticized, we must act, not react. Acting with charity invites the spirit. Reacting with anger creates contention. Forgiving others allows us to be closer to the spirit and to experience healing within ourselves.

"Replace criticism withe charity."

Resisting the impulse to be offended is charity.

"The primary reason we are commanded to avoid criticism [of others] is to preserve our own spirituality." Elder Oaks.

We cannot claim a virtue as our own until it has been tested.

"Love is what we give in spite of what another person says or does."

"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. By his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize his potential." Victor Frankl

"Self-esteem is the very glue of self-reliance."

"Love is a catalyst that causes change."

"We can learn to love completely without full understanding."

"The closer we are to God, the better we can feel his love for others and the easier it will be to love those around us, especially the difficult-to-love."

"Be faithful regardless of anybody else's behavior or decisions.

"My children only talk to me when I am with them. That takes time."

"When children are out of control, spend one-on-one time with them, as much time as it takes until they find balance again.

"Learning to love under all circumstances can 'stretch the Hell out of you.'"

"Our sacrifices to love-no-matter-what is a reflection of what the Savior does for us."

Sometimes our help or love is not wanted or appreciated. Christ knows something about unaccepted offerings.

"I'm in process, just like you."

"To love another person is the see the face of God." Les Miserables

"The song 'I did it my way' will only be sung in the telestial kingdom."

"As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women." Nicole Johnson (The Invisible Woman: A Special Story for Mothers)

Chores = perception training