A Question of Clowns

While driving home from grocery shopping, Kinley made a confession from the back seat.

Kinley: Mommy, I don't understand why, but for some reason... I'm afraid of clowns.

Mommy: That's ok, Kiks. You, me, and half the planet.

It occurred to me that I rarely hear a positive reference to clowns. Clowns only seem to come up in casual conversation when people hate or fear them. So I must ask: does anyone out there like, love, or collect clowns?

"Jingle Bells, Batman Smells"

Some things just transcend the generational gap.

When Life Imitates Art

Tonight we were reading "Wind in the Willows" before bed. This evening, Toad found himself in jail for the umpteenth time for stealing and crashing motorcars. During his incarceration, he was befriended by the jailer's daughter, who ultimately took pity on him and helped him escape his confinement.

Kinley: Mommy, that's terrible! She is going to get in a lot of trouble! She can't just do that! She freed a prisoner!

Then she slowly sat up as her eyes became as big as saucers. She whispered in her most scandalized voice: "Mommy.... your parents did that. They freed a prisoner! Your brother is Prisoner Toad and your mom is the jailer's daughter!"

I laughed until I couldn't breathe while she described her visions of my brother being smuggled out of jail in a ladies' bonnet. Maybe tomorrow I'll explain that bail isn't exactly the same thing. It just seems like it.

My Cute Kid

"Why so many pictures of Crew? Don't you love your other children just as much? Don't you think they are also blog-worthy? Don't you find them to be deliciously adorable as well?"

The answer to that is YES, but they have started to become cockroaches when the camera comes out, scattering when I pop the flash. They are starting to take after their father in their aversion to being photographed. Little stinkers. Never thought I'd see that day. Temporary setback, I hope.

Sigh...

At least one of my children won't deny me! Isn't he so cute???

Merry Merry Christmas!

My kids rose to the tippy top of the Naughty List in the final days. Nevertheless, despite my many threats, I did not cancel Christmas.

"Lemme sum up":

We have a Christmas Eve Picnic tradition, passed down from my side of the family. Growing up we enjoyed all types of exotic finger delicacies, including liver pate and many different fruits, meats, cheeses, crackers, and dips. Alas, the unrefined palates of the Youngest Among Us demanded dino nuggets and bagel bites this year. (Fortunately, I happen to dig dino nuggets and bagel bites.) We then read the Christmas story from Luke 2, watched The Nativity Story, and sang carols. Nothing but the good carols; I vetoed all songs about Santa and his reindeer. He has dominated too much of our holiday season this year!

We put the anxious little imps to bed and followed them shortly after. The crock pot kept us up much of the night, jiggling now and then with our Christmas roast, taunting Justin with its moist deliciousness. Crew got himself stuck sideways in his crib at 6:30, so we gave him a snack to calm the hysteria and put him back to bed. The big kids lasted longer in their beds than I expected. We didn't see the whites of their eyes until 7:18!

It was an awesome Christmas morning! The kids were thrilled with their loot, but most of all, it was wonderful to have our Tiny Prince home with us. Last year I would have given anything for him to wake me up at 6:30, 5:30, 4:30, or 3:30 from his own crib.

Remember this?

Tanner comparing stocking goodies with Kinley.
Rocky the Robot Truck has met expectations and serves as the prize of the morning.
Kinley enjoying a yummy breakfast of peppermint patties.
She has been asking for a locket since December 26th of last year. She loved it! A silver heart-shaped locket with a pink butterfly. This was her favorite present.
Crew fully embraced the simple pleasures of Christmas morning. This little table has legs that we'll add once he starts standing up. Santa filled his stocking with new 6-9 month pajamas so that he can stretch his legs out! Wahoo!! He's getting so big!
He looooooooves it.
Merry Christmas!!

It was almost perfect. We were just missing one more little Christmas critter. Love you, Dex.

I hope this holiday season brings peace, love, and joy to each of your hearts. Because of my Savior, I know I will be reunited with my Dex some day. Mary must have loved Jesus so much and I know it must have been so hard to watch him suffer throughout his life. During this next year, I will strive harder to become more like Him. Some day I will thank Him face to face for everything He has done for me, including the individual tender mercies he places in my path on occasion, just to remind me that He knows me and loves me. I miss Dex so much, but he is one blessed and lucky spirit to be spending this Christmas, as he has every Christmas, with the Savior Himself.

"I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights like heaven's stars
Reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular
Please wipe away that tear
For I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
But earthly music can't compare
With the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you
The joy their voices bring
For it's beyond description
To hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
Trust God and have no fear
For I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I can't tell you of the splendor
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you imagine Christmas
With our Savior, face to face?

May God uplift your spirit
As I tell Him of your love
Then pray for one another
As you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful
And let your spirits sing
For I'm spending Christmas in Heaven
And I'm walking with the King!"

By Wanda Bencke

Merry Christmas To All...

And to all a good night!

The First Christmas, Violent Version

Kinley: Mommy, how do I draw murder?

Mommy (stopping in tracks, puzzling at the innocent-seeming crayola rendering of Baby Jesus in a manger): What?? What do you mean? Murder? Really? Why???

Kinley: I need to know how to draw murder. I've already drawn the gold and the frankincense. Now I just need the myrrh-der.

The Beast

It may be high-maintenance and clingy, but it's awfully cute.

How WE Make Ritz Chicken

Seal up two tubes of Ritz crackers in a gallon Ziploc bag. Crush them to crumbs with a rolling pin, soup can, or mallet-wielding four-year-old.
Crush, crush, crush...
Change a poopy diaper in the other room; leave the crusher unattended, spinning the bag around and around and around...
Clean up mess, taking care to shake crumbs out of underwear. Restart the crushing process during nap time--with a soup can.

No-Cream Creamy Potato Soup

I make this super-delicious soup all winter long. I have tweaked this and tweaked this to (what I consider) perfection. It's very flavorful. NO butter and NO cream!! This recipe makes 9 generous 2-cup servings, only 242 calories each! 242 calories for 2 cups of creamy soup?? Can't beat that!
INGREDIENTS

6 cups peeled and cubed potatoes*
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped onion
2 cups diced carrots
5 cube chicken bouillon
4 cups water
1 tbs dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt**
2 pinch ground black pepper
2 Tbs all-purpose flour
3 cups milk
1 1/2 cups shredded cheese
2 cups chopped ham (or hamburger)

DIRECTIONS
In a large pot, add potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, chicken bouillon, water, parsley flakes, salt, and pepper and simmer until vegetables become tender (approx 45-60 minutes. Carrots take the longest.)

When veggies are tender, in a separate bowl (or food processor) mix flour and milk. Once it is well blended, add to soup mixture and cook until soup becomes thick (approx 5-7 minutes).

Take a potato masher and gently smash around the pot, just enough to squash some of the potato chunks, but not all. It makes the soup creamier!

Stir in cheese, cooked ham or hamburger and simmer until cheese is melted (approx 1-3 minutes). Serve! Yummy!

*Try not to make any changes until you have tried it this way first! Adding more potatoes, water, or milk totally changes the end result. When you are boiling the veggies, it may look like there is not enough water. Trust in the process!!

**Add more salt if needed, but remember that with leftovers, the salt will have had a chance to leak out of the ham, so be careful you don't overdo it!

For more of our family's favorite recipes, visit Vittles Divine.

Don't Grow Up, Little Guy

I love Tanner just the way he is. He is growing up so fast, too fast. I will deeply mourn the day when Mary no longer has a "little man" whose fleece is white as snow.

Italian Disappointment

I spent the entire afternoon making lasagna. I followed a recipe that was promisingly titled "World's Best Lasagna." I bought weird ingredients, followed time-consuming directions to the letter, and ran two loads of dishes, all without burning my arm or slicing open a finger.

It turned out... fine. Just fine.

Sigh...

If anyone has a good lasagna recipe, I'm definitely on the hunt.

Wholesome Recreational Activities

While smack-talking my spouse during a rousing game of ping-pong:

Megan: Aiiiirrr-baaaaaaaall!

Tanner: Mommy! You're a hairball!

Cottage Cheese Pancakes With Orange Butter Sauce

I fell in love with this dish from my friend Hilary C. at a breakfast recipe exchange several years ago. It is delicious and hearty. I get easily overwhelmed by traditional pancakes and usually start looking for the bacon and eggs after a few bites to counteract my sugar-headache; I can eat a dozen of these without feeling sugared out. The high-protein content of these pancakes combines very well with the sweetness of the orange sauce, or any syrup really. The pancakes have a very nice texture and they do not taste "eggy".

Pancakes
6 eggs
2 cups of cottage cheese
1 and 1/2 cups flour

Mix together in a blender until smooth. Pour on griddle and cook on medium heat. These take a litte longer than normal pancakes. Cook till golden brown. Makes approximately 16 4-inch pancake medallions. They reheat just fine in the microwave. A nice make-ahead breakfast.

Orange Sauce*
2 eggs
1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup orange juice (Simply Orange is kinda pricey, but it really does have the orangey-est result)
4 T grated orange peel (optional: I have never done this because I never have spare oranges on hand --and I'm lazy-- but it would probably add even more to the yummy orangeness and I plan to do it some day)

Melt butter and sugar in saucepan, being careful not to let it burn. Add orange juice and set mixture aside to cool for 5+ minutes. Add eggs. Bring to little bubbly boil and boil for one minute stirring constantly. Remove from heat, pour sauce through a strainer to catch any eggs you accidentally scrambled. I would add the orange peel here (if you are going to use it), since it will get strained out if you do it earlier. Then warm the sauce again for another minute or so. Serve over cottage cheese pancakes.

*Sauce can be frozen and scooped out of freezer bag in desired serving increments if you make this in large enough quantities that you want to save it for a later date. Just reheat on stove or in microwave.

For more of my favorite recipes, visit Vittles Divine

Would You Believe?

Kinley Rose keeps me in stitches. She asked me offhandedly where I park my magical sleigh and if she could have a ride in it.

I. Love. This. Girl.

She kills me. No, no... she slays me. (Get it? Sleighs me?)

The Santa Situation

We were always really honest with Kinley about the whole Santa Situation. And by "we" I mean me. Justin has alternated calling me Scrooge or Grinch every year and couldn't believe I would rob my children of the Santa tradition. My only intention was to rob them of the devastation that consumed my very soul at the age of nine when I was enlightened on the weightier matters of reindeer and magical sleighs.

I whispered "there is no such thing as Santa" in Kinley's ear at the tender age of 10 months and repeated it every holiday season many times. We had dozens of open conversations about how we don't tell other kids about Santa. Two years ago, at the age of four, Kinley actually said to me "Mommy, why couldn't you just let me be a child for a little longer? I want to believe in Santa." That was the first time I felt a little guilty about spilling the beans so early. From the door of my Christmas doghouse, I promised her and her father that I wouldn't be so mean to Tanner...yet.

We're not anti-Santa in this house, by any means. I have nothing against his intentions or the good things he pretends to leave for me under the tree. To appease Justin and Kinley, we leave cookies for the Big Guy and we read plenty of stories that document his Christmas journeys and accomplishments. In the interest of keeping it real, I have always done it under the guise of "isn't it fun to pretend there is a Santa Claus? You know there is no such thing as Santa, but it sure is a fun thing to pretend, don't you think?"

Last year I kept my commitment and didn't snow on Tanner's parade (since we had enough going on), so we did the whole Santa bit. I was pretty casual about it, didn't make a big fuss about it, but I didn't say "we're pretending" before every sentence. So, it's understandable that Tanner believes in Santa Claus and is fully anticipating a Christmas Morning delivery of his very own Rocky the Robot Truck.

But, would it surprise you to learn that Kinley also believes in Santa Claus?

On the way home from a friend's house last night, she asked the Big Question: Mommy, does Santa exist? First, I couldn't believe we were having the conversation--didn't we do this already? Didn't you accuse me of shattering your childhood fantasies at one point? Hadn't I already shouldered the burden of spoiling your Christmas illusions? Doesn't Justin whisper "Grinch" in my ear every morning? Didn't you wink at me when you told Tanner that one of the deer in our backyard had a red nose?

I did what any self-respecting, guilt-ridden mom-on-the-spot would do. I hemmed, I hawed, and I asked her what she thought. She totally believes, which explains the dramatically enhanced Wish List 2009. I then copped out with: "Well... the spirit of giving that Santa represents is always in our hearts, whether he is real or not. Do you understand?"

Uh, no.

My sister Heather and Dr. Phil came through for me late last night.

This morning, I sat her down and told her that she had asked a big question last night and that I was going to be honest with her. Daddy and I are Santa and we just love being Santa for her. I hadn't warned Justin of my intentions (for obvious reasons), so he was digging meaningfully into my spine as I braced myself for tears, heartbreak, and that same accusing little finger that was once pointed in my face.

Nope.

Phew.

I got a big smile, a hug, and a giggle as she asked "So, am I on the naughty or nice list?"

Missing The Holiday Mark

I saw this commercial on tv. I think they meant well, but maybe, just maybe missed the mark... (P.S. -- click "play" in the lower left corner...)

Um, thank you, CBS?

Watch CBS Videos Online

Diversity of Taste

Crew is making such good progress in a lot of areas. He has started opening his mouth more willingly and purposefully at mealtime. He is finishing the entire bowl instead of giving up after 8 bites. If I'm too slow on getting the spoon to his mouth, he has started to reach for the spoon. Most excitingly, he is willing to eat solid food twice a day now, so hopefully he will start to gain weight a little more rapidly. We hope to get up to three times a day soon, but we'll happily accept twice!

Last, but not least, he will now eat food with something other than rice cereal in it! He will now accept infant oatmeal mixed in with his fruits and veggies. He remains picky about the consistency and temperature, but this is still progress! Steak and potatoes are just around the corner! I can feel it!

The Reveal

I've been working for a while on my master recipe blog. In the past I have posted recipes on collaborative sites, but when I make adjustments to the recipe over time, I have had to change them in 2 or 3 different places and sometimes I can't remember where my most updated, most delicious version of the recipe is posted.

I now have my recipes in one central location. Just my faves. Just the very best of the best. And only the ones that have nice pictures :) The rest of the best will follow in time, as I make them again and get beautiful pictures. Neurotic, aren't I?

But for now, I present to you: Vittles Divine.

Christmas Books

What are your favorite Christmas picture books?

Our favorites this year are:
My First Story of the First Christmas
Christmas Oranges
Room for a Little One
A Christmas Dress for Ellen
Why Christmas Trees Aren't Perfect
The Tale of the Three Trees
Twas the Night Before Christmas (Mary Engelbreit)
The Crippled Lamb

We're always looking for new recommendations!

More Pics of my Boys

Crystal Light stains faces. Especially the cute ones."You again?"

Boys Will Be Boys

Crew has always been a little sketchy with his willingness to sit upright for any length of time. Tanner is the very best PT tool that I have available. Crew sat for 45 minutes (about 42 minutes longer than his average sit-time) watching Tanner play with his car ramp. Boys and their vehicles! Whatever works!

In other Crew updates, he will now eat a fruit puff without choking, gagging, or spitting it out! For those unfamiliar with "fruit puffs", they are roughly the size and consistency of a Cheerio. First, I break it into three tinier pieces. Then, I slip one into his mouth, tucking it to the side so that it has time to get mushy before it reaches the back of his throat. Putting it straight into his mouth is a recipe for choking. He occasionally makes chomping motions with his jaw, which is very exciting. He ate probably 6 fruit puffs this morning, which means he conquered the puff 18 times before getting worn out.

We have so many things to be excited about this Christmas!

Settling A Bet

Justin and I need help settling an argument. Justin thinks I'm crazy and that I watch too many crime shows.

I, however, think it's totally reasonable to assume there could be a body in every trunk until proven otherwise.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this...

A Father's Grief

I love you, Justin. And thank you.

A Father's Grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

Author Unknown

Crew and Darbi Sitting in a Tree

Crew loves his Darbi. And Darbi loves Crew. We were lucky enough to spend some time with our little Diva last week."Hello there, pretty girl."
"If you don't mind, I'm going to relieve you of that hairbow and oxygen tubing.
"No thank you, kind sir! I need my oxygen to breathe and my hairbow for fanciness!"
Standoff.
The sitters.
"Wanna play? You have such soft skin. I hear your mommy makes her own milk, all yummy and full of fatness. I'm so jealous."

"Don't you worry! I like my men tiny and wiry! We can share diapers!"
Darbi loves me too.

Kinley made Darbi a beautiful Christmas card that you can see here. I just love that she drew a picture of Darbi, complete with oxygen.

TTTS World Awareness Day

TTTS is a placenta-sharing disease that affects 10-15% of identical twins in utero. It can cause severe damage and/or death to one or both of the babies. With proper diagnosis, there are options that can be put in motion that may dramatically improve the prognosis and future of your precious twins. With treatment, both babies often thrive and go on to live healthy, normal lives. Other times, only one baby survives longterm, with varying possible complications and conditions. In some cases, even surgery cannot save either of the babies.

There are no guarantees even with intervention/surgery, but a proper diagnosis will certainly improve your odds. The fact that Crew was saved in the nick of time without a proper diagnosis is nothing short of a miracle. When one of the babies pass away in a shared placenta situation, catastrophic medical events follow that the surviving baby cannot overcome. He would have been gone just a few minutes later, as evidenced by the fact that he was born without a heartbeat. It still humbles me to realize how close we were to losing him too.

If you discover that you are pregnant with twins, it is crucial that you determine whether the babies share a placenta. It is difficult sometimes to tell the difference between one placenta and two placentas that have merged together to look like one placenta. If they share a placenta or if there is any question about it whatsoever, you should see a perinatologist to be monitored closely for changes and to determine your options.

TTTS is a ballgame changer and is not to be trifled with.

For more information, please visit http://www.worldtttsawarenessday.org/

And a warm shout-out to my beloved fellow TTTS mommies. You know who you are and how much you mean to me.

"WORLD TTTS AWARENESS DAY is an international mobilization effort created by The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation to increase awareness of the #1 problem facing multiples. It is crucial for women to get an ultrasound in the first trimester to identify multiples and then to determine whether there is one placenta or two. Women must learn the warning signs of TTTS, the 15 questions to ask at each ultrasound, and the available treatment options. World TTTS Awareness Day is about empowering parents and is filled with messages of Hope, Help and Encouragement. Your babies can make it and be healthy. Don't ever give up. Please, Get Educated, Get Ultrasounds, Ask Questions, Get Treatment and Get Involved! This day is also a remembrance day for all the babies who have had TTTS. Candles will be lit tonight across the world during the vigil and messages may also be left for your babies through lighting online candles."

What Would Happen?

Meal conversations really highlight the contrasts in their personalities and interests.

Child #1: Mommy, I wonder how many children I will have when I grow up.

Mommy: I don't know. It will be interesting to find out!

Child #1: What would happen if I had a girl first, and then a boy, and then twin boys??

Mommy: Then you would be just like Mommy!

Child #2: Mommy, Mommy! What would happen if I tooted my face off??!!

Seat Renovations

When our PT Julie came this week, we spent most of our session remodeling Crew's high chair with foam inserts. We carved out a bum slot in a block that is raising him up a little; we've inserted blocks on either side of him at the hips, and put a thin backing on. See how nice and tall he is sitting! He's a bum-scooter and a slumper by nature, but these new additions are helping him sit more properly.

"Hi, Mommy! I love it! I am such a big boy!""OK. That was fun for 5 minutes, but now I'm tired and I want you to pick me up."
"You. turned. your. back. on. ME!!! How many times have I told you not to do that?!"

Tasty Feet

Wandering through the world lately with my warped perspective has been very thought provoking. It makes me wonder how many thousands of times I have said something "normal" and "innocent" that has taken someone else's breath away, maybe even made it to someone's therapy-blog or support group message board. Since we all know how much I love to talk, I suspect the list of offenses is pretty extensive.

Then again, when I say "it makes me wonder", please, oh please don't take that as an invitation to enlighten me. I prefer the bliss of ignorance.

To all those who have had to start a conversation, post, or email with "you'll never believe what someone said to me today to rip open a wound they didn't know about" because of something I have said in ignorance, I am so sorry.

When I'm not swimming in my own pool of self-absorption, I kind of like my new, more accepting frame of reference. The memory of my first trip to the grocery store after the boys were born is still fresh. Kinley and Tanner were being so naughty and I didn't have the energy or the heart to scold them because I knew they were grieving in their own way and dealing as well as they could under the circumstances. I will never forget chanting in my head "please don't be mean to us. Please don't be rude to us. Please don't stare at us. Please don't roll your eyes at my kids. We are barely holding on today."

I remember looking around, feeling so self conscious and wondering how everyone else looked so normal when my world had just fallen apart. While I appeared stable on the outside and had my stable moments on the inside, I wanted to hang a sign around my neck that said, "please tread very carefully. My baby just died and my other baby is fighting for his life. I take no responsibility for how I may respond to unanticipated additional stress."

Now (when I'm not wrapped up in my own re-erupted grief and scratchy blanket of hypersensitivity) I look at the other people at the store a little differently. When someone seems brusque or sad, it makes me wonder. I'm not sure they really want me speculating about their personal life, but I can't help it. Did they lose a child? Did their spouse leave them? Are they struggling with infertility? Did their spouse die? Are they in foreclosure? Is someone they love in drug rehab? Is there a scary medical diagnosis in their circle? Did they lose their job?

You just never know.

Homestyle Turkey, The Michigander Way

This turkey was pretty much amazing. Very flavorful and extremely tender throughout. I'm not very experienced with making delicious turkeys, so I would call this a no-fail recipe. I found it originally at Allrecipes.

Ingredients
1 (12 pound) whole turkey
6 tablespoons butter, divided
4 cups warm water
3 tablespoons chicken bouillon
2 tablespoons dried parsley
2 tablespoons dried minced onion (I used fresh)
2 tablespoons seasoning salt

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Rinse and wash turkey. Discard the giblets, or add to pan if they are anyone's favorites.

Place turkey in a Dutch oven or roasting pan. Separate the skin over the breast to make little pockets. You do not need to cut the skin. Just pull it up a little and shove your hand under it -- gross, but if I can do it, you can do it.) Put 3 tablespoons of the butter on both sides between the skin and breast meat. This makes for very juicy breast meat.

In a medium bowl, combine the water with the bouillon. Sprinkle in the parsley and minced onion. Pour over the top of the turkey. Sprinkle seasoning salt over the turkey.

Cover with foil, and bake in the preheated oven 3 1/2 to 4 hours, until the internal temperature of the turkey reaches 180 degrees F (80 degrees C). For the last 45 minutes or so, remove the foil so the turkey will brown nicely.

Use drippings for fantastic, preseasoned gravy if desired.

**I made this with a 22.5 pound turkey. I doubled everything except the season salt. Do not double the season salt. I cooked the turkey for about 8 hours. I basted it twice. It was super moist and delicious. If you do this big turkey with the extra ingredients, be sure to have a turkey baster handy to slurp out the drippings before they spill out of the pan along the way. It gets really juicy in there!

Thanksgiving Stuffing Recipe

I love stuffing. I mean I LOVE STUFFING.


Ingredients
2 loaves bread
4 cups diced celery
2 cups diced onion
½ cup butter
2 cups chicken broth (one can)
1 and 1/2 cups evaporated milk (one 12 oz can)
3 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons rubbed sage
2 teaspoons poultry seasoning
1 ½ cups dried cranberries (craisins, on 12 oz bag)
3 cups peeled, chopped apples


Directions
Break bread into small pieces and allow to dry out, preferably for two days. If you have an electric knife, use it!

Simmer onions and celery in saucepan with butter and broth until tender. Remove from heat, add evaporated milk, salt, and dried cranberries. Allow to cool at least 20 minutes; when they have cooled, beat eggs and add them to mixture. Add apples to mixture.

When bread is dry, add sage and poultry seasoning, toss to mix well in a large bowl. Slowly add wet mixture to bread and mix gently until well moistened.

Pile high in the largest pan you’ve got (make sure you've sprayed it with Pam or whatever), cover with foil and bake for APPROXIMATELY 90 minutes on 350. Stir well half way through cooking. Remove the cover for the final 30 minutes to brown the top. Serve warm.

**I made a double batch and piled it high in a greased turkey roasting pan.

Brotherly Love

Last night I was going to write about the fact that Crew only laughs for Tanner. No matter what Kinley, Justin, or I try, we can only get him to offer up gigantic, silent smiles. But Tanner? Well, big brother can coax a belly laugh out of him with very little effort.

I was sitting at the table with Kinley and Tanner this morning, pondering this phenomenon over breakfast, when Crew woke up and started the wind-up whine in his crib, as he does every morning. As I tried to gulp the rest of my cereal down as fast as I could, the tone of the whine suddenly changed dramatically. It changed from a whine to a very distinct, gasping-squealing belly laugh.

When I got up the stairs and into his room, the look of utter rapture and delight on his face confirmed what I suspected: that Tanner isn't the only brother who can get him to laugh.

Jingle Jingle!

Our back yard may not be very big by many standards, but it was plenty big enough this evening for eight deer to come visit us!

Eight deer scoping out the view, maybe more.

Eight of them.

Kinley swears one of them had a shiny red nose...

I Tried!!

I went to the grocery store today to pick up a few things. In the meat section, I looked up and realized there were two adorable little children in a cart next to me, a boy and a girl looking about the same age, around 2. I asked the mom "are they twins?" She smiled and said yes. I smiled at them and said, "they are super cute" and turned to go.

I was so proud of myself! I didn't walk in the other direction! I didn't ignore them! My heart didn't race, my face didn't flush, my stomach kept all its contents! I felt so liberated that I reached way into the back of my cold black heart and sensed no jealousy whatsoever! I thought, "Yay! I'm back!"

Then...

Just as I was turning away from our very brief but satisfying encounter, she rolled her eyes, sighed heavily, and said, "Yeah, and they're a LOT of work."

Heart still racing.
Face still flushed.
Nausea fleeting and manageable.

I tried. Maybe next time I won't try quite so hard.

I Refuse To Buy Bigger Pants

Do you think now is a really bad time to try to lose 7 pounds in a month?

I bought butternut squash and edamame today. That'll do it.

I Looked Out The Window

And what did I see?

Some very interesting popcorn balls on my apricot tree...

Tanner: I can take an armpit and make a treat! A popcorn ball that would smell so sweet!

I absolutely positively could not bring myself to correct him.

No! Not Preemie Teeth!!!

The good news is that one of the teeth that has been struggling to erupt in Crew's mouth finally made its appearance in the middle of the night.

The bad news is that what I have suspected for the last few days is definitely true. The tooth is yellow and brown and may have no enamel on it whatsoever. Because his bottom teeth came in perfect and white, I thought we were safe from the preemie teeth condition that is caused from antibiotics and other heavy medications during the all important "final trimester" (that he spent in the NICU) as well as being on TPN (intravenous) nutrition for so so so ridiculously long.

I am so sad for him! Like life isn't rough enough without creepy teeth? Guess I'll be making an appointment with the pediatric dentist to fully assess the situation. Sigh....

Sitting? Sort of.

We're still working on sitting. Sometimes this is all he can make himself do.Sometimes he can play with a toy and sit respectably. His lefty is his "propping" hand. We are focusing on putting toys into that hand so that he uses it less as the crutch. See him holding onto that very small ball? That's a great thing.
If we miss a few holiday or illness days of therapy, he tends to regress. It can be discouraging. But even as a baby gorilla, he is absolutely adorable. Love you, Crew! Back to work! I hate exercising too, so I feel your pain!
(Thanks for the floor mat, Mel! I love it!)

Brothers Watching Cartoons

Everybody falls asleep with the Bambi blanket.