The Ticket System

My friend Bethany is full of all kinds of great ideas, not just delicious recipes. She recently introduced me to something that has revolutionized their whole family dynamic. There are a number of reasons that "chore charts" haven't worked in my house and for years I have lacked a viable alternative. I haven't really cared much because my children have historically had very helpful attitudes around the house. I have started to care more recently as these very attitudes have been disintegrating of late. You may know what I'm talking about: heavy sighing, negotiations, meltdowns, complaints about inequitable division of labor, selective deafness, etc.

Enter: The Ticket System.

I bought a gigantic roll of tickets at a party supply store for $3 and introduced Our New Life to the children during FHE. It's very simple: My kids earn tickets for fulfilling their responsibilities. On Saturday morning, we open "The Family Store" and the kids redeem their tickets for stuff.

There are all kinds of things in the family store, ranging from a few cents to a few dollars each. There are also privileges like "computer time" or "campout in the basement" available in the Family Store. On Saturday morning the children have three options, or some combination of them: Spend tickets, save tickets, or put tickets in the Family Bag. (When we have 200 tickets in the Family Bag, we are going to the zoo.)

It. Is. Working. Marvelously. We've been doing this for a month and the excitement about it is only growing. I can let my kids earn tickets for anything I want, and it can change from day to day. Homework, opening the blinds, helping with laundry, reverence in church, practicing the piano, washing hands after using the bathroom, putting your plate in the sink, etc.

Self-Motivation
We have a very special component built into the Ticket System. I don't remember whose idea it was. If it was Bethany, THANK YOU. If it was me, I'm brilliant! My kids generally earn 1 ticket for each job. HOWEVER, if it is their own initiative, they get 2 tickets. For example, if Tanner washes his hands after he goes to the bathroom, he gets a ticket. When I don't have to remind him, he gets 2. He is finally willing to wash his hands without drama and without prompting! It's a modern day miracle! He races to me and shoves his sweet-smelling little fingers in my face before running to get 2 tickets for his stash. I never ever have to remind him anymore to wash his hands and he is always happy to do it. F.i.n.a.l.l.y. When Tanner takes a nap, he gets 1 ticket; When Tanner takes a nap without complaining, he gets 2. When Kinley does her homework, she gets a ticket; if I don't have to remind her, she gets 2. See?

My kids are actually looking for ways to earn tickets (particularly on Fridays.) Words that almost made me pass out this week: "Mommy, when I'm done with dinner, may I do some laundry please?" They know that if it's their idea, they get twice the tickets. Even when they only get 1 ticket for those things I ask them to do, they are far happier emptying that dishwasher than they ever were before.

My children are happier because they feel better about their contribution to the family and I am not feeling so much like the House Elf around here these days. Nor do I feel like the overbearing taskmaster. I feel so liberated!

One unexpected side benefit is that Tiny Tanner is becoming quite the accomplished accountant. He is adding and subtracting in his head... accurately.

The Problems
Sometimes I ask Tanner to do something and he responds, "No thank you. I don't want to earn a ticket right now." I then say "well, you can either do it and earn a ticket or do it anyway and not earn a ticket. Which would you prefer?" It works.

The children have gotten so excited about earning tickets that the Family Store has already had to experience inflation... But that's a good thing.

Examples of ticket-worthy responsibilities:
Getting dressed
Putting shoes away when you come home
Reading lesson
Hanging up coat when you come home
Writing in journal
Homework
Laundry
Dishwasher
Cleaning any room
Picking up Crew's toys
Throwing away diapers
Putting dishes in sink
Opening blinds
Wiping door handles (Kinley's great idea)
Making bed
Taking a nap
Drinking a tall glass of water
Eating dinner without complaining
Reverence in church
Obedience at the grocery store
Playing games with Crew

Bethany gave me a cool idea that worked for us: I promised the kids 5 tickets for the Family Bag if they kept the sink tooth-paste-free for one week. It worked! It can be adapted for any scenario; the possibilities with this flexible approach are endless.

Thank you, Bethany, for revolutionizing our family dynamic. I owe you (yet another) one. Kisses, hugs, and a million trillion "thank yous".